“A Voracious Grief” Update
It’s been awhile since I shared anything about the book I’m working on, A Voracious Grief. At the beginning of this month (August), I set an ambitious writing goal for myself. Because I’m a mother to five children, one of whom is a nursing infant who doesn’t sleep through the night sometimes, and because I homeschool during the regular school year, the summer months are a rare time when I can focus on writing over most of my other responsibilities.
As this summer drew toward its close, I realized I’d written the first 25% of A Voracious Grief. Feeling inspired for the rest of the story, and confident I’ve got a good handle on its structure, I set a HUGE goal for August. One last push before school starts! (We start early September)
My goal: to finish the “Middle Build”
In other words, write another 50% of the book in a month. You never win if you never try, amiright?
Now, I’m pretty excited about the progress I’ve made over this month. I’m blown away that I even reached my goal, despite experiencing a tremendous nosedive in productivity in the middle of the month. I’m grateful for the amazing way my husband provides time and space for me to get away for focused writing sessions at the library. But I don’t want to just share about my process, because enjoying those triumphs is mainly for me. It’s the stories themselves which are meant to be shared with others. Suffice it to say, I’m making wonderful progress and I’m excited to share this book with you soon.
A Voracious Grief is a story set in Victorian England about a brother and sister who’ve suffered bereavement after bereavement. Ambrose Bancroft has lost four close relatives in seven years. After going through the grieving process again and again, he’s had enough. Something inside him refuses to mourn any longer, and in typical human fashion, he operates as though he can will himself into a better state of mind.
His sister Mattie, on the other hand, teeters between grief and total despair. Ambrose meddles in her life, never leaving her to her own devices for long. He doesn’t want to lose her, too. But human beings don’t like being controlled and stifled by another person, and Mattie grows rebellious. Amid all this, she’s lured away by a pernicious entity dwelling within Linwood Manor. Before Ambrose realizes what’s going on, Mattie’s fallen under a spell of escapism and fantasy.
All this brings us to the end of the Middle Build, so the rest isn’t written yet. However, I’ve a fairly clear picture of what needs to happen to wrap up this story in a satisfying manner. Ambrose will have to learn to let Mattie be her own person, that he can’t protect her from everything, that he ought to look to his own grieving process rather than try to manage hers. It’s a story about the point of living, the point of suffering, that death is not natural.
A Voracious Grief deals with themes of manipulation, control, painful family relationships, cowardice, loss, grief, faith and hope, empty religion, demonic spirits, addiction, intervention, prayer, over-protective vs. supportive, fantasy vs. reality, raw power vs. raw humanity, salvation vs. survival.
Writing this book is teaching me a great deal about my writing strengths and weaknesses. I’ve learned I absolutely must have a healthy work/life balance. I’m seeing lots of ways I can grow as a writer. It’s a great first novel to be tackling.
Writing and craft aside, this book has become cathartic for my development as a middle-aged adult. This season of life is one where I’ve learned to become more comfortable with myself, at the same time as being more honest about my past shortcomings. I don’t think those are disconnected. For me, I wasn’t able to release a personal burden of shame until I admitted to myself I’ve been hurtful and wrong toward others in the past (both distant and recent past!). That admission was freeing. And part of the process of admitting and owning my failures, was to saturate a book character with them.
Ambrose Bancroft is a rather unlikeable, but relatable protagonist, in my opinion. I don’t know how he’ll strike other readers. But there’s a lot about him I don’t enjoy! He’s just trying so very hard, poor dear. And he’s so sure he’s right. He takes on the burden of ensuring his sister’s well-being, when nobody asked him to do so, least of all Mattie. He’s controlling, stifling, annoying, and full of misplaced good intention.
Someday he’s going to realize that love is patient and kind, isn’t arrogant or rude, doesn’t insist on its own way, is never resentful. He’ll understand love for his sister means he ought to believe in her, hope for her, endure her, and that this type of love won’t fail to save both of them. But, knowing all this, I doubt Ambrose will do it right. He’s Ambrose, after all. Bless him.
If you’re like me and can’t wait to find out what happens to the poor fellow, and if he manages to save his sister from all danger—reasonable and unreasonable alike—then you’ll want to sign up for my newsletter. In the October edition, I’ll be sharing a scene from A Voracious Grief and lots of fun bonus material!
